As therapists, mental and emotional health isn’t just something we talk about with clients– it’s something we have to actively protect in ourselves. This work is meaningful and rewarding, but let’s be honest, it can also be exhausting. If you’ve ever felt like your empathy tank is running on fumes or like you need a vacation from listening, you might be dealing with burnout, compassion fatigue, or secondary traumatic stress (STS). Understanding these experiences and knowing how to manage them can help you keep doing the work you love without completely running yourself into the ground.
Burnout: When Your Brain Waves a White Flag
Burnout is what happens when stress overstays its welcome. It’s that state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion that makes you wonder if you should quit your job and go work at an ice cream shop instead (when I was dealing with burn-out, that was my fantasy).
Signs You Might Be Burnt Out:
- You’re always tired, no matter how much sleep you get
- You find yourself thinking, Does anything I do even matter?
- Your patience is wearing very thin (with clients, colleagues, loved ones, or even strangers on the road)
- You’re mentally checking out, even in sessions you used to enjoy
- The idea of answering another email makes you want to cry (so you avoid avoid avoid)
How to Fight Burnout:
Set Boundaries Like Your Sanity Depends on It (Because It Does)
Work ends at a certain time? Stick to it. Clients emailing you at midnight? They can wait.
Find Joy Outside of Work
What did you like to do before you became a therapist? Do more of that. How would you spend your time if you didn’t have to work anymore? Try to incorporate more of those things.
Talk It Out
Supervision, therapy, or venting to a trusted colleague can help you process what’s draining you.
Reassess Workload & Expectations
If you’re drowning, it’s okay to ask for a life raft. Ask your boss to help you prioritize, let them know you’re struggling, and see if some of your tasks can be delegated.
Compassion Fatigue: When Caring Feels Like Too Much
Compassion fatigue is like empathy burnout. You still care, but you’re so emotionally drained that caring feels like an Olympic sport you didn’t sign up for.
Signs You Might Be Experiencing Compassion Fatigue:
- You feel emotionally drained after listening to clients’ struggles
- You’re running on autopilot and feeling disconnected from your work
- Your ability to empathize is… well, not what it used to be
- You feel more irritable, cynical, or just over it
- You need extra time to emotionally recover from tough cases
How to Combat Compassion Fatigue (Without Becoming a Robot):
- Check In With Yourself: How are you doing? No, really. When’s the last time you actually asked yourself that? If you need some extra help, take the ProQOL assessment.
- Make Space for Reflection: Whether it’s journaling, mindfulness, or talking it out with a friend, process your emotions instead of bottling them up.
- Balance Your Caseload: If possible, mix in less emotionally intense cases with the heavy ones. It’s tough to do back to back to back trauma processing cases some days.
- Surround Yourself with Support: Find your therapist friends, commiserate, and remind each other that you’re doing great (even when it doesn’t feel like it). If you’re in this alone, consider joining a Facebook community—or better yet, join an Ellie Mental Health group practice.
Secondary Traumatic Stress (STS): When Clients’ Trauma Feels Like Your Own
STS happens when you’re exposed to clients’ trauma so much that your brain starts treating it like your trauma. It’s like emotional secondhand smoke— still harmful, even if you’re not the one directly experiencing it.
One of our Ellie therapists just joined our podcast recently to discuss her experience with secondary traumatic stress, how it was different than burnout and compassion fatigue, and how she was finally able to move forward and heal. Listen here:
Signs You Might Be Experiencing STS:
- You’re having intrusive thoughts or distressing dreams about clients’ experiences
- You feel emotionally numb or disconnected from reality
- You avoid certain cases, conversations, or topics because they feel too triggering
- You’re hypervigilant, anxious, or having trouble sleeping
- Your body is reacting—headaches, muscle tension, nausea—all the fun stuff
How to Manage STS (Without Quitting Therapy Forever):
- Set Emotional Boundaries: You can care without carrying every client’s trauma like it’s your own personal baggage.
- Supervision is Your Friend: Regularly talk through tough cases with someone who gets it.
- Educate Yourself on Trauma Responses: Understanding your own reactions can help you navigate them better. One of the most helpful, influential books I’ve read on this topic was Trauma Stewardship—highly recommend!
Taking Care of Yourself Isn’t Optional
Therapists are human first. This job is a part of us, but it is not our full identity. Burnout, compassion fatigue, and STS are real, but they’re also manageable when we prioritize ourselves the way we prioritize our clients. Set boundaries, take breaks, and remind yourself that taking care of you is what allows you to take care of others. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
Listen to our full episode about self care as therapists here:
