The stores are full of school supplies and the weather may be starting to cool down. If you’re a parent, you might be feeling some excitement or dread– The season of transition is upon us! It can feel like a lot to navigate, but this blog will provide you with some tips and tricks on how to help navigate the back-to-school transition.
Understanding Back-To-School Anxiety
Everyone struggles with the newness of going back to school to some degree. It’s completely normal for your kids to feel some anxiety with the thought of going back to school and settling into a new routine. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they qualify for an anxiety diagnosis, but it could mean that some extra tips and coping skills can help to lower their fears and make a seamless adjustment.
It’s important to recognize that children may even begin to display signs of anxiety a few weeks or even a month before school starts.
Common Triggers for Kids
For young kids, they might be feeling nervous about a new teacher, riding a bus, making new friends, or even just the idea of getting back into a routine that’s different.
For older kids, they might feel back-to-school stress about having to switch classes, whether their friends will be in their classes, increased bullying, or how they’ll keep their grades up with the mountain of social pressures or extracurriculars. Common causes of anxiety in high school students might also include bullying, peers, social interaction, getting a job, preparing for exams, preparing for college and preparing to be an adult—it’s a lot to handle!
The Impact of Back-to-School Anxiety on Daily Life
Some signs to look out for in kids and teens when returning into the classroom are:
- Stomach aches
- Bathroom concerns (constipation, wetting oneself during bed-time or during the day, etc.)
- Headaches
- Nausea
- Increase in negative behavior (screaming, kicking, hitting, etc.)
- Outbursts that are out of proportion to the incident (for example, your child may spill water on the table and cry, flail their arms, scream at the top of their lungs)
- Fatigue
- Avoidance or lack of motivation, even to things that bring them joy
- Changes in grades
Children of all ages may display some of these signs. Watch for any change of behavior in your child and consider seeking kid or teen therapy if you’re noticing more of these worries pop up.
We are seeing social anxiety become more common (Especially right after the pandemic). Children are having a harder time connecting with their peers and often feel overwhelmed by the amount of people that they have to interact with in a day, especially if they have group projects in their classrooms.
Practical Tips for Easing Back-to-School Anxiety
Some mental preparation tips for school readiness may include some mindfulness and relaxation routines and rituals for students and maybe even caregivers! Creating a routine that prioritizes taking a break before, after, or even during the school day can help mitigate some of those fears and anxious thoughts.
In many elementary schools and some middle schools, teachers and principals are allow students to take mind breaks through silly dance challenges or socioemotional learning. Many schools have in-school counselors or social workers that can help give kids a break when they’re feeling more anxious or even provide a calm-down space.
….But what if this is not the case in your kids’ school? Here are some simple grouping or coping exercises that you could teach your child so that they might use throughout the school day or when they’re feeling more anxious:
- Box breathing exercise
- Progressive muscle relaxation
- 5-4-3-2-1 technique
- Coloring or drawing
- Having a quiet fidget available, like a sensory sticker or a squishy sensory toy (warning: my kids love those but they get dirty quick)
- Having gum, a mint, or sour candy available if allowed (coincides with using the senses in the 5-4-3-2-1)
- Taking stretch breaks
- Splashing cold water on their face or having cold, ice water available in their water bottle
This list is not extensive but could be a great start with finding out what works for your child when it comes to navigating nerves with school!
When possible I also recommend that parents and kids have visits to the school to help ease the transition. This is especially helpful when they are changing schools or transitioning from middle to high school.
How to Help Kids with Anxiety in the Classrooms: Ideas for Teachers
We know, being a teacher is a tough job, and it can be even harder when you have an anxious kid in class. Remember that anxiety can look different in everyone! It might look like shyness, tears, fidgety, and isolation, but it can also look like “negative” behaviors like yelling, exploding, or difficulty listening.
Here are some ideas for managing anxiety before it gets too big:
- Taking a stretch break
- Teaching your students the 5-4-3-2-1 technique
- Encouraging your kids to create a worry plan: have them write down a list of five things that help when they’re feeling anxious.
- Incorporate art and drawing, let kids doodle while you’re teaching, especially if they might have ADHD and need to keep their hands busy
- Reading books about managing anxiety (see list below)
- Have a basket of quiet fidgets that kids can use while in class like fidget spinners, kinetic sand, play dough, drawing supplies, stress balls, or sensory stickers.
Kids Book List for Managing Anxiety
I am a huge fan of using books to help educate kids and teach them about recognizing anxiety, normalizing feelings and teaching calming skills. Here are some books about anxiety I recommend for any teacher or parent (Links in the titles go to amazon, and some are affiliate links, but you can find them at any bookstore):
- How to Get Your Octopus to School by Becky Scharnhorst (School Anxiety)
- Breathe Like a Bear: First Day of School Worries by Kira Willey (School Anxiety)
- The Invisible String by Patrice Karst (Good for school anxiety/being away from parents)
- The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn (Good for school anxiety; this helped me when I was little!)
- Me and My Fear by Francesca Sanna (General Anxiety)
- I’m Worried by Michael Ian Black (General Worry)
- Wilma Jean and the Worry Machine by Julia Cook (General Worry)
- A Worry Says What? By Allison Edwards (General Worry)
- Breathe Like a Bear by Kira Willey (Great for calming skills)
- B is for Breathe by Melissa Boyd (Calming Skills)
- Right Now, I am Fine by Dr. Daniela Owen (Calming Skills)
- A Little Calm Spot by Diane Alber (Calming Skills; there are activities that go along with this book online too!)
Back to School Routine Tips
Routines and daily schedules can help reduce anxiety by providing some stability and normalcy. When kids know what’s coming or what’s happening, they feel more in control. Coming up with a solid bedtime routine to help ease anxiety and contribute to a good night’s sleep is especially helpful. If your mornings feel rushed and your child seems to be more anxious in the mornings, help them come up with a routine to follow and be sure to incorporate some coping skills.
Ideas for Nighttime Routines:
- No screens for a period of time before bed and instead spending time reading or journaling
- Playing a family board game every Sunday night to get everyone’s minds off the “Sunday scaries” and get some laughter out
- Going for a nightly walk after dinner to enjoy nature and process some of the stuff from that day
- Taking a shower or bath before bed
- Writing down or talking about three things you’re grateful for or three good things that happened that day
- Listening to a guided meditation before bed during nights when the anxiety is especially high
- Watch a movie together to distract from worries (watching a comedy to get out some giggles is great for this!)
- Going to bed at an appropriate time to ensure plenty of sleep
- I had a client who would spray a lavender essential oil “sleep spray” on her pillow every night before bed, which was a part of her bedtime routine that she always looked forward to (and I think she had trained her brain to start getting sleepy when she smelled it too)
Ideas for morning routines:
- Waking up a little earlier than needed to give them plenty of time and limit all of the feelings of being rushed
- Walking the dog outside before leaving
- Eating breakfast together
- Talking about three things you’re grateful for together
- Listening to music, a podcast, or an audiobook while getting ready or driving
I often recommend that families start implementing the routines at least a week before school starts. I know that in that last week of summer, you want to get that last big trip in or let the kids sleep ing, but if you have an anxious child, starting that routine earlier is going to be a big help.
Long-Term Strategies for Building Confidence and Resilience
To help build resilience and decrease anxiety in children of all ages, it can help to have open conversations with them. Create a safe place for them to communicate their fears or anxieties about beginning school again. Using active listening and validation can help them feel a little more at ease. Some questions you might ask include:
- What are you looking forward to about this school year?
- What are your worries about school?
- What are your hopes for this school year?
- What do you want to be different from last year? What do you want to stay the same?
- Are there routines that help you feel less anxious in the morning? Routines that help you feel more calm before bedtime?
- What are some things that have helped you calm down when you’re getting anxious?
Psychoeducation helps tremendously with children, because it helps them feel like their feelings are valid and that they can find some control of what’s happening.
When to Seek Professional Help
Watch for some of the symptoms or warning signs above—if you feel like your child is feeling overly anxious or really struggling with this transition, therapy can offer support and skills. There are lots of options for support: Ellie Mental Health offers therapy for kids in numerous states, and many therapists offer appointment hours that are flexible with school schedules and after-school extracurriculars. It is also becoming increasingly common for schools to have a therapist providing treatment for kids in the school to make appointments even easier.
