Why Self-Confidence Matters
Building self-confidence is a common goal for a lot of people, but what does that really mean? More importantly, how do we actually do that? The way you talk to yourself, interact with others, and spend your time can all impact your self-confidence, which in turn can have a positive impact on other areas of your life.
Benefits of Self-Confidence:
- Enhanced decision-making and problem-solving skills
- Improved personal and professional relationships
- Overall increased life satisfaction and happiness
- Greater resilience to life’s setbacks and stressors
Understanding Self-Confidence
What is self-confidence? To have self-confidence means to simply believe and trust in yourself.
Characteristics of Self-Confidence:
- Belief in your talents and abilities
- Trust in your judgement and decision-making ability
- Understanding your worth and what you deserve; expressing your needs
If this doesn’t sound like you, don’t get discouraged! Your level of self-confidence can always change. These practical tips for increasing self-confidence can have a ripple effect that positively impacts many different areas of our lives.
Recognize and Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Self-talk includes our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about ourselves. It might be positive, it might be negative, and it might be somewhere in between. Negative self-talk can really undermine our self-confidence. One method for overcoming self-doubt can be broken down into three simple steps: notice, evaluate, and replace.
Notice the Thought
Let’s say, for example, that you forgot someone’s birthday. Negative self-talk in that moment might look like, “I’m such a bad friend.” Instead of getting wrapped up in this thought, we can use mindfulness to step back and notice. “I’m noticing that I’m having the thought that I’m a bad friend.” Try not to immediately believe the thought; just observe it.
Evaluate the Thought
Our thoughts are not always the truth. Once we notice it, we can begin to evaluate how true the thought is using some of the following questions:
- Is this thought true?
- What evidence supports this thought?
- What evidence is against this thought?
- What is another way to look at this situation?
Replace the Thought
After noticing, evaluating, and realizing that maybe the thought isn’t as true as it initially seemed, we can replace the thought. This is an important step; it helps train your brain to use more positive self-talk. Using this example, an example of a replacement thought might be, “I’m a good friend who made a mistake.”
Set Achievable Goals and Celebrate Small Wins
What was it like for you the last time you achieved a goal you’d been working towards? You might have felt proud or excited; I’m sure it was a great confidence boost! Setting goals is a great way to work towards self-improvement, and we can use this practice to also boost our self-confidence. Make sure to set goals for yourself that are realistic and attainable. When we take our big goals and break them down into manageable pieces, they become easier to reach.
You might wonder how setting small goals builds self-esteem. Here’s why it matters: any step you take towards self-improvement, no matter how small it might seem, is an achievement worth celebrating. Take the time to recognize your achievements and feel proud of yourself. Celebrating small wins helps us to recognize our successes, which in turn helps raise our self-confidence.
Embrace Your Strengths and Develop a Positive Self-Image
I’d like to encourage you today to spend some time listing a few of your personal strengths. If that feels hard, that’s okay. Feel free to ask a close friend or family member. Sometimes other people have a clearer perspective of what we’re good at. Embracing strengths may feel challenging, but it’s a great way to build a positive self-image. You might even make it a daily practice. For example, you can set an alarm that will remind you to think about at least one thing you did well that day. Taking the time to identify and embrace your strengths is another way to train your brain to use more positive self-talk, which will help improve your self-image.
Practice Assertiveness and Effective Communication
To communicate effectively means to accurately express one’s needs and boundaries. Let’s consider an example. You’re at work, and you have a lot to get done, and a coworker asks for help with something. A person who struggles with assertiveness might find themselves saying yes even though they know they don’t have the time. This might lead to overwhelm or burnout, especially if it’s a repeated pattern. If you have ever found yourself in a similar situation, you are not alone! Assertiveness training can help improve communication skills to respectfully express our thoughts, feelings, and needs to those around us.
Communicating assertively is also an act of self-care. When we acknowledge and express our individual needs and boundaries, we reinforce their importance which helps our self-esteem grow.
Invest in Self-Care and Wellness Practices
The importance of self-care is talked about a lot, but we don’t hear as much about how self-care and self-confidence work together. Wellness and confidence are more connected than we often realize. When we prioritize our self-care, it helps us feel better. When we feel better, we feel more confident in ourselves. Self-care can be physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.
Self-Care Practices to Boost Self-Esteem:
- Do a work-out
- Prepare some nutritious meals for the week
- Gratitude journaling or journaling what you’re proud of
- Take an everything shower or do a skincare routine
- Meditate or pray
Surround Yourself With Positive Influences
Your social circle can have a significant impact on how you feel! One way to increase self-confidence is to spend time with those around us who help us feel good about ourselves. Relationships that boost confidence are with those that uplift and encourage us. Thinking back to the assertive communication piece, positive relationships are with those who understand and respect our needs and boundaries. Mentors and role models are also great examples of positive influences.
Embrace Personal Growth Through Learning New Skills
Learn something new! Equipping ourselves with knowledge and skills is a great way to enhance our self-confidence. Take up a new hobby or set aside designated time to practice a current hobby. By learning a new skill, you’re empowering yourself, which will also help you to feel more confident in your abilities. There are many ways to boost confidence by learning new skills.
Personal Development Tips for Improving Self-Esteem
- Take a class related to a personal hobby
- Attend a work-related seminar or training
- Watch videos online related to personal or professional interests
- Learn from a friend or colleague
Seek Professional Support When Needed
Feeling low self-worth is incredibly difficult, and you are not alone in this. If you find that these steps aren’t helping, or maybe they just feel too hard right now, then I encourage you to seek help from a professional. How do you know when to seek professional help for self-esteem? If it seems like these steps aren’t helping or if they feel too difficult to do, then I encourage you to ask for help. Many people struggle to build their self-confidence, and it’s always okay to seek professional help. You deserve to feel good about yourself. Therapy for low self-confidence and self-confidence coaching are two great sources of external support. Building self-confidence is a journey. No matter where you find yourself in this process today, it is my sincere hope that you feel empowered to take at least one of these steps to boost your self-confidence.
