Holiday Mental Health Tips for When the Season Feels Like a Lot
You can love the holidays and still dread parts of them. You can look forward to seeing your family, and also want to sit in the car for ten extra minutes before you walk in. Two things can be true at once, and we are here to help you navigate this complicated season.
In a national poll from the American Psychiatric Association, 44% of adults said the holidays have a positive effect on their mental health. In the same poll, 41% said they expect this season to be more stressful than last year. The most common stressors were missing someone (48%), affording or finding gifts (46%), difficult family dynamics (32%), and loneliness (31%). ¹
If any of those landed close to home, these holiday mental health tips are for you. None of them ask you to do the season perfectly; they’re about making it a little easier.
1. Let the season be mixed
There’s a lot of pressure to feel festive on cue. When you don’t, it’s easy to decide something is wrong with you. Mixed feelings during this time of year aren’t a sign you’re doing the holidays wrong; they’re a sign you’re paying attention to what’s going on in your life.
Try naming what you feel without fixing it right away. “I’m excited to see my nieces, and I’m anxious about dinner with my dad” is an honest sentence, and it’s a lot lighter to carry than pretending only half of it is real.
2. Choose what matters most this year
You don’t have to do every tradition, attend every party, or bake every recipe from every year before. Pick the two or three things that feel most meaningful to you and give yourself permission to let the rest be smaller, simpler, or skipped.
A helpful question: “If I could only keep one part of this season, what would it be?” Start there and build outward only as far as your energy allows.
3. Decide on a budget before the season decides for you
Money stress tends to sneak in through a hundred small purchases. Setting a number ahead of time, even a rough one, can take some of the guesswork and guilt out of each decision.
Some ideas that can help:
- Suggest a gift exchange or a spending cap with family or friends
- Give time instead of things, like a dinner you cook or an afternoon together
- Remember that people usually remember how time with you felt, not what it cost
4. Plan for the hard conversations ahead of time
If certain topics or certain people reliably leave you drained, you’re allowed to prepare for that. Planning ahead isn’t being dramatic; it’s being realistic about what you need.
A few things to think through before you go:
- Your exit plan. Drive yourself, set an end time, or know where you can step outside for a few minutes.
- A few go-to phrases. “I’d rather not get into that today,” or “Let’s talk about something else,” can do more than a long explanation.
- A support person. A friend you can text, or a sibling who knows the signal that you need a break.
It can feel uncomfortable to set boundaries, especially with family. Discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong; it’s often just a natural part of growing.
5. Make room for grief
The holidays have a way of making absence louder. Whether you’ve lost someone recently or years ago, or you’re grieving a relationship, a version of your family, or a season of life, it’s okay if this time of year brings it back up.
Some people find it helps to honor that loss on purpose: lighting a candle, cooking someone’s favorite dish, sharing a story at the table, or taking a quiet moment alone. Others need to keep things low-key. There’s no right way to grieve during the holidays, only the way that’s honest for you.
6. Protect the basics where you can
Late nights, packed calendars, travel, and extra drinks can add up fast. You don’t need a perfect routine, but holding on to a few anchors can make a real difference in how you feel day to day.
- Keep a rough sleep window, even on days off
- Eat regular meals between the big ones
- Get outside or move your body, even for a short walk
- Notice how alcohol affects your mood and sleep, and adjust if you need to
- Build in downtime that’s actually empty, not another errand
7. If you’re lonely, start small
Loneliness can feel especially sharp when it seems like everyone else is surrounded by people. Reaching out doesn’t have to mean a big gathering. It can be one text to an old friend, a coffee with a coworker, a community event, or a volunteer shift.
If you’re spending the holidays on your own by choice, that’s valid too. Plan something that feels good to you, so the day has a shape instead of feeling like something to get through.
8. Keep your support in place, or start it
When things get busy, therapy is often one of the first things people push to January. But this season is often when having a steady place to talk things through matters most. If you already have a therapist, try to keep your sessions on the calendar, even if it means switching to telehealth while you travel.
If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy, you don’t need to wait for a fresh year or a breaking point. At Ellie, we help you find a therapist who fits what you’re looking for, offer in-person and telehealth options at many of our locations, and help you understand your insurance coverage before you start.
If the holidays bring up thoughts of harming yourself or you’re in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. ²
The season doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful, and you don’t have to carry all of it on your own. When you’re ready, Ellie Mental Health is here to help you find support that fits your real life.
Last Updated On: November 3, 2026
Citations
- American Psychiatric Association, “Americans More Anxious About the Holidays,” APA Healthy Minds Poll, November 18, 2025. https://www.psychiatry.org/News-room/News-Releases/Americans-More-Anxious-About-the-Holidays
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. https://988lifeline.org
